so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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