if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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