he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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