do herpes really smell.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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