Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize