Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
this just has baby written all over it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
