If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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