I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
