I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
