I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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