Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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