I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize