if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
sex in a hospital.. check
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
