cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize