I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ketchup is God's man juice
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A+ Viking dick
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize