So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
