you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
