it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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