i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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