watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
