im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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