No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
