I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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