Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize