i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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