it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The power of my boobs compel you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
