There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
