Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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