Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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