He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
