Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
