Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
