I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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