Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
did you just send me my own nude
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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