Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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