We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need water and some morals
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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