Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
