were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
