her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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