New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
