I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
