Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize