my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize