the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
