It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
