help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
