So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
