god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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