Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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