Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
