At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I love you.
Bad choice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
