I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
