Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
