I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
