Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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