As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize