I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
