Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
