It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
