he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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