She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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