thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
