i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
