It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
