I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
