Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize