Porn is love you can see.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize