ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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