I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
