You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize