You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
